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at-seapoint:

im gonna lose more weight and get tattooed and be super hot soon just you wait

jakemalik:

double chins are what make us human

daximed:

Hotel showers are really weird because they can range anywhere from “gently peeing on you” to “I fear for the safety of my nipples”

thats-slightly-raven:

when i was 4 my dad asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up and i replied ‘daddy i want to be a cheesecake’ it’s been 12 fucking years and no one has let me forget it 

devilsmadvocate:

lefayss:

dude 

like

dragons are mentioned in almost all cultures all across the world even before they had interaction with each other and you’re telling me they didn’t exist

wow it’s almost like some kind of large lizard-like creatures roamed the earth at some point and left fossilized remnants of their bodies behind that ancient cultures were trying to make sense of

stagdoewolfdog:

Shipping is so weird. You’re basically in love with their love and you get all these very real feelings. You blush and you get butterflies when they look at each other or stand next to each other even, and your heart makes all these pangs and skips and does the tango. And when things fall apart it really does feel like your hearts breaking. And it’s just so weird. 

jugwine:

*rubs hands together* so how much caffeine am I going to dump into my garbage body today

gacob:

they were right. guns don’t kill people. people kill people. people are now illegal and the crime rate is zero